Monday, June 1, 2009
The third day of the silent retreat was remarkably different from the first two. Gone from the previous days were the many outside distractions of life. I am confident that they were there, but no longer registering on my personal radar. Instead I was beginning to become more attuned to my interior, and the inside distractions of life. During the first three prayer periods I felt an incredible sense of peace. We were asked to pray for the grace to know God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit in a new and special way. I was not quite sure what that meant and I struggled between offering prayer and awaiting response. Even though my heart understood, I needed to remind my mind that it does not work that way, God responds but not in earth-shattering moments of prayer. I needed to remember that I should not be stopping to measure God's response, but rather that I needed to be open to it.
The final hour of prayer I saved for later in the evening. After a short nap I made my way to the Church. As I went outside it was an absolutely incredible evening (it was 10:00pm). As I approached the outside of the Church and the front steps I stopped. I could no go further. I am not one to go with my senses, but I did. I felt God tugging at my heart in a real and present way. So following His lead I sat outside in front of the Church. We were asked to pray for the graces to grow deep in our love of the Trinity. For the next hour I sat outside the Church (where Eucharistic Adoration was taking place) and had the most amazing hour of prayer of my life. I reflected on the Trinity and had a real strong image of the Church (where adoration was taking place) as the Tabernacle and the world as God's Cathedral. I suppose it sounds a little strange, but it spoke beautifully to my heart and moved me greatly. After further silence, prayer and listening I began to get a real sense of the Trinity, in the courtyard where I sat. The moon shone brightly, interrupted only by clouds. The wind blew at my face and cleared the clouds from the moon's earthward gaze. As I sat there I experienced God's grace. What felt like five minutes was in fact an hour. The understanding and relationship of the Trinity for which we were supposed to pray, came. It came in the beautiful symbolism of the Moon pouring forth it light (the Father), the Church where the Eucharist was present within (Jesus) and the wind which filled the air and cleared the clouds (the Holy Spirit). I finished last night with a refreshed spirit, feeling the powerful presence of God...
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